


Five Things Rodney Thinks No One Knows (but Everyone Does)

by RavenclawProngs



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 12:06:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4262676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenclawProngs/pseuds/RavenclawProngs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Really, he's not subtle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Things Rodney Thinks No One Knows (but Everyone Does)

_He doesn’t like kids because he’s afraid he’s going to fuck them up like his parents did with him and Jeannie._

The only people who might call him on it are Radek, who won’t, since Rodney can always send him back to the Kid Planet and Radek truly _hates_ all children who aren’t related to him until they stop breaking things (and sometimes not even then); Elizabeth, who’s too polite to; and John, who thinks it’s sweet and quickly represses all thoughts related to that one since the next is invariably _I wonder how he’d do with our kids?_ And that thought is too sappy even for John, whose favorite movies all have happy endings and never had to be reminded of anniversaries because he writes them all down.

 

_He still misses his cat. Not just the cat he left on Earth but also his first cat, Mr. Fluffy, a white Persian half-breed his neighbor gave him after his dog ran away (he still misses the dog, too.)_

Rodney never notices how wistful his voice gets when he talks about his cat. On one of their off-world missions, Teyla asked about pets, because apparently Athosians didn’t keep animals purely for companionship. Rodney started talking about why people kept pets and segued into tales about the pets he’d owned throughout his life and continued in this vein until they reached the village, five miles from the ‘gate.

Several missions later, when they found a litter of wildcats, their mother dead beside them, John made sure Rodney got to keep whichever kit he wanted. When it became apparent that their mother had been immature and her kits grew too large to be comfortably housed in Atlantis, John got Rodney blind drunk after he had to let Curie go free on an uninhabited planet.

 

_He doesn’t harp on his various medical conditions because he’s a wimp but rather because he really has a few life-threatening issues and he’s afraid no one will get to know him well enough to know or care about them and he’s terrified of dying because of something as simple as a spritz of lemon on his salad when he always keeps an Epi-pen in his pocket._

Rodney hides his insecurities better than he hides anything else but he’s still not good enough at doing so that his deflections and bluster hold up under scrutiny and everyone tapped for the Atlantis mission are both of above average intelligence and fairly compassionate (you don’t stay in the Stargate Program long if you aren’t both). When John asked Rodney to be on his team, Rodney told him all about his allergies and hypoglycemia. Even that early in the game, John had heard whispers about McKay’s hypochondria, so he asked Carson about it and found out how to use an Epi-pen himself. After that, he had a quiet, serious word with the kitchen staff and now all dishes with even suspected citrus are clearly marked and John carries extra Epi-pens and granola bars in his tac vest.

 

_Rodney really and truly cares about all the scientists under his command and makes at least a token effort at getting to know all of them (though he’s terrible with names, he’s good with faces)._

Rodney’s shoulders droop every time he passes certain areas in the city. There are days when he’s more snappish than there is evident cause and the newcomers are quietly warned not to bother the Chief Science Officer. No one who has a similar name to those departed gets hired, even if they’d be perfect for the expedition. No one talks to Rodney about it, even to tell him it’s not his fault they all died, past a certain point of time after a new death, but on the days that Rodney’s face gets stiff and sad for no reason and he’s too quiet, the Mess serves his favorite foods and he always winds up with an extra serving of dessert without really being made aware of it (mostly because the cooks give him about half again as much as normal and he usually steals half of John’s anyway.)

 

_Rodney loves John Sheppard._

This one he really tried to hide, not wanting to either out himself or to lose John’s friendship, so it took a long time for John to notice (he’s a smart man but fairly stupid when it comes to noticing when people really _like_ him) and in the end it took a very forthright speech from Radek to get him to realize it (and then it took Cadman’s equally forthright but somewhat more embarrassing speech to actually make a move, seeing as how half the base figured he and Rodney were already an item and the other half had bets going on when they would be. The halves were a fairly even mix of soldiers and civilians.)

Once Rodney and John really _are_ together, Rodney gets worse at hiding how he feels, because now whenever John enters the room he looks up and smiles at him and John smiles back and Rodney beams. It only lasts a moment or two before he gets himself under control again and remembers he’s not _fourteen_ for god’s sake but it’s enough to be noticed. No one says anything to either of them but whenever a new arrival shows even a glimmer of interest in either man that person is taken subtly aside and told, in very unsubtle terms, that both men are totally off-limits and no, we don’t care if there’s regulations against it and by the way, have you noticed how very _large_ the city is? Easy to get _lost,_ wouldn’t you say? Welcome to Atlantis.

There’ve never been any problems.


End file.
